Important.

I've been meaning to post these but are now turning into new years posts. Important things that need to be said.


Where were you when you were most needed. You never were there for help. I called for you. I asked for you to guide my way. You never  answered. . . Looking back I wondered what would happen if you were there. . . If I had made a different decision to keep following you. . . Where would we be?  

Where were you when everything was falling apart with all my days standing by the telephone. . . Where were you when everything was going wrong. . . Just a little late 

No matter what you say my mind won't be changed. It has already been made up. The decision may not be what you might like, but it is what I choose. 
so deal with it. 

Hey. I hate you. There might be no good reason but I hate you. You bother me a ton and sometimes I want to hurt you like hell. But other times for no specific reason, I hate you. You make me laugh. Cry. Hurt. Feel special, hurt, happy, needed. You make me fall in love with you. That's why I hate you.  

Next time

when I look at you all I see is a person with no idea. When I think of what we went through, I know there will be no end. Never know how I'm goin to live through it. How it's going to end. With what I want to happen, I can't tell you. Where I will be going because you where never there. All you did was walk away. Never listened to me. If I told you I liked you you would just ignore me. Thinking that it was all a joke. When I said I meant it you just walked away. never to look again. To see what I was leery to deal with. What had I become. I was nothing just a person without emotion. Wearing a mask night and day. So nobody could see what I really was. Ne'er again to wonder what could have Happened.

a park

have you ever been so scared that you didn't know what to do? That somebody you knew was going to be hurt?
My friend jumped off of like seven pieces of equiptment at a jungle gym. while it was all being videoed she could have been hurt throughout it all. through all of my warnings not to she still did.


Have you sometimes felt htat you have no clue who you are? What your purpose in the world is? How you are going to find where you are going? i wonder these questions every single day. with rain or shine these come with no delay and you are always on the quest to discover who you are. there is an inner battle going on inside of us that wil never stop;because we will never know who we fully are. Sometimes xcertain things are hard of us while easier for others. Put these in your head. They are part of who you are. Who you are dependds on what you do and how you do these things. Make sure to follow the correct path because a last minute chance can sometimes take you in the opposite way in which you are wanting to go.

A guy

I liked a guy for like a year and a third
my friends all knew this and kept saying that I should ask him out
I finally did and all but he was going out with the girl who had persuaded me to ask him out
she then told me that they were gong out
a week later she said they weren't
I was extremely confused
then I idioticly told her that I like another guy
she went into her facebook and told him
then she went on to ask him out for me
he likes her.
Whitch I think that she already knew.
Is she just trying to hurt me or. . .
Yea.
" there will be obstacles. There will be doubters. There will be mistakes"
- Michael Phelps
is this just one of those times?

What to do

Has there ever been a time when you just want to give up and accept defeat but your anger keeps you going? When you want to just up and call it quits but it would help in the future? What makes us do these things?
My friend- let's call her Elizabeth - and I had a huge fight over junk
I'm not so sure if she's really a friend because all she does is backstabbing me and make fun of me with her friends
" nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
so I think that it is time to step up and be my own person and not care what other people hunk or say about me. Due to the fact that you are yourself and no one else

like a true friend once told me:
" when you don't like the fortune reshuffle he deck"